


Crossroads (The Choices We Make)

by Zorua_Illusion



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Everyone needs healing, Hurt/Comfort, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, M/M, Minor Character Death, Oni Genji, POV swapping, Sanzang Zenyatta, also art, descriptions of violence that are not very graphic, if ao3 lets it show up, long fic, others mentioned but pretty much just these two, various yokai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 19:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14817480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorua_Illusion/pseuds/Zorua_Illusion
Summary: A monk and an oni meet at a crossroads. It sounds like a joke, but it turns out to be a story about them saving each other. (And, maybe, finding love, too.)





	1. Crossroads (The Choices We Make)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Blogaversary, Genyatta!

This is a terrible joke, Sparrow Hawk can’t help but think as he is summoned to a crossroads where a lone being waits. It’s terrible – he’s not even entirely bound to these rules, especially not since he took down the clan (and doesn’t that thought just make the ever present cold just _sting_ ever more), and yet, here he is, answering to the call of a freaking decision at a crossroads.

His heart’s not really in it; the rage is ever present, of course, but it flares and dims like a fire stoked by wind and right now the air is still. Even so, the being (omnic, the oni recognizes), seems slightly surprised by his presence, though not scared.

That would be refreshing, having someone who didn’t flinch at the mask with terrible teeth and stark red horns and glowing eyes. It would be refreshing if Sparrow-Hawk was in any sort of mood for dealing, or causing mischief, or feeling extremely generous.

He’s not. Frankly, at this point, he just wants to retreat back into his temporary stronghold made out of forest and shadows. He was _sleeping,_ damn it.

“What,” he snarls, “do you want?”

“Not much,” the monk replies jovially, “I was thinking about which path to take when you showed up.”

Sparrow – Hawk rolls his eyes. “I was summoned here; meaning you performed a ritual. So, what do you want? Money? Power? Eternal youth? Good fortune?”

“I have no need of money, and my own power is sufficient. What need does an omnic have for eternal youth? And I must already have good fortune to have such an interesting occurrence happen on my way, for I did not perform your summoning ritual. It would be fairly difficult for me to acquire the bone of a black cat, especially with my vows.”

Sparrow – Hawk sags his shoulders in exasperation and looks around. He sees a black cat bone on the crossroad. Upon inspection, there are fresh beak marks littering the small bone; an unfortunate kitten caught in nature’s cycle, apparently. There are bits and pieces of graveyard dirt everywhere. It’s not surprising, really; there’s one about a mile up the road. Mourners pass by frequently, but none invoke a demon so close to a sacred site. It’s why Sparrow – Hawk loitered here – he didn’t want to be bothered.

The last object is located on the monk himself. “Are you as so vain as to carry a portrait of yourself around for no reason?” the oni sighs, exasperated. A series of coincidences led to his nap being interrupted. Peachy.

In response, the monk digs out a piece of paper out of his robes. Unrolling it carefully, he shows it to the oni.

It’s a child’s drawing – the oni had seen enough of them in his life to recognize the scribbly lines and odd proportions. This one depicts the monk who holds it.

“A gift I could not bear to part with. Though we are supposed to be above earthly attachments, I find that relating to people on the same level instead of being a high, unreachable figurehead tends to work better in spreading the ideas of peace and acceptance.” He rolls the drawing back up and replaces it.

It really is a terrible joke, Sparrow – Hawk decides. Not only was he summoned during the time he took to rest, he wasn’t even summoned on purpose: just miscellaneous events and happenstance.

“Then begone with you.” Sparrow – Hawk turns to walk back into the shadows, but the monk calls out.

“Wait!” Sparrow – Hawk stops, though he doesn’t know entirely why.

“There is disquiet in your soul,” the monk states quietly.

Sparrow – Hawk snorts. “Is that not part of being an oni?”

The monk’s head tilts in confusion. “Not all oni. Only the ones who-”

Sparrow – Hawk’s face screwed up under his mask with a myriad of emotions, and he dealt with the turmoil the monk’s words caused in the only way he knew how: he stalked back into the shadows, leaving the monk and crossroads behind him. He’d leave tomorrow morn and find somewhere else to haunt.

He did not realize until much, much later that it was the omnic’s laughter had brought him reprieve from the ever present cold.

The next morning, Sparrow – Hawk woke just as the sun peeked over the horizon. He took his time in preparing to leave, stretching and checking his clothes, mask, and blades before heading out.

Right before Sparrow - Hawk turned to leave, however, he felt himself being tugged toward the crossroads again.

Upon seeing the familiar monk, Sparrow – Hawk groaned. “Did you not heed my warning about coming here again? Or are you just stupid?”

The monk did not react except to bow his head. “I came back to apologize. I am lucky everything necessary for this meeting is still in place so that I could. I did not realize my words would trouble you so.”

“… You do realize that we have to complete the deal now that you’ve summoned me with intent,” Sparrow – Hawk informed flatly.

“Do we? I was not aware of that rule.”

That’s because it wasn’t one that he knew of. Oni aren’t bound to crossroads – he has no idea why he’s here, or why even the items dragged his spirit out. And apparently the monk doesn’t quite know every rule, since he believed the oni’s words about the ritual. Sparrow – Hawk shakes his head; this path of thoughts only goes in a circle.

But the point stands: Sparrow – Hawk cannot leave. He tried, but his legs do not move, he does not slip into shadows, he cannot remove himself from the position he’s in.

“Yes,” he replies instead, though he knows it is a lie. The monk again tilts his head as if he expected the oni to say more, forging onwards when nothing came.

“I asked for your company then, and you have given it. The deal is done, then.” The monk nods to himself.

The oni sighs. This monk is probably more trouble than he’s worth, but his legs are moving again and so he slips into shadows, back to his hide out.

He only realized that the strange warmth seemed to come from the omnic after it started leaving him. He cursed once he realized that, because now he had to know why. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back and all that.

He decided to hang around the crossroads one more day. Perhaps he could figure it out then – or, at the very least, put it out of his mind.

But even the best laid plans of men and demons go wrong, and so Sparrow – Hawk finds himself being pulled to the crossroads in a flurry.

The monk is there again, but he is facing away from where Sparrow – Hawk stands, and looking past the monk, the oni can see it’s for good reason.

A _jorōgumo_  pursues him relentlessly, playing her _biwa_ as the monk protests.

“Thank you kindly, but I must refuse your offer,” the monk says in his normal monotone. Call him crazy, but Sparrow – Hawk could almost hear desperation in the processed voice.

Sparrow – Hawk doesn’t wait for her to reply. He steps forward, hand resting on his _wakizashi_ , and lets his power flare.

The _jorōgumo_  turns to him in an instant with a sickly sweet smile. He focuses on his anger of being woken ( _again_ ) in order to ignore her pull.

“Begone from here, lest you want my blade to tear you through.” It’s no idle threat, and as she realizes this she transforms into her real appearance. Instead of a young, beautiful woman, she is now old and wizened, six hairy arms coming out of her sleeves and supporting her as two more poke out from the bottom of her outfit, its original form indiscernible from how ragged it was.

“I was hoping for an easy meal, but I will take more meat in exchange for more work. Come, children! Feast!”

Sparrow – Hawk can’t help but to roll his eyes. She would get very little, if anything at all, out of the monk meat wise. Him, on the other hand… well.

Sparrow – Hawk flew at her, sacrificing a powerful strike for a quick one, managing to mangle one of her many legs. She hissed in pain as another leg swung at him simultaneously, catching him off guard and tearing through one of the places on his body not covered by armor.

The oni heard rustling and knew the fight would have to end soon – he needed to check his wound to see if she had poisoned him, and also he didn’t want to be overwhelmed by however many kids she had – when a purple orb rocketed next to her, latching  on and spinning around her as if caught. She flinched and hissed loud enough to throw spittle. The oni struck once more, attacking another leg on the same side with a powerful blow to the joint.

“ _Leave!”_ he bellowed with a voice not entirely his own. Upon hearing that, fear came into the _Jorōgumo_ ’s eyes. She hastily retreated, and the rustling stopped.

The monk came over and started inspecting the oni’s wound unbidden. Sparrow – Hawk tensed and pulled away, leading the monk to look at him. The oni could almost see the frown upon the immovable face plate.

“She managed to get water – poison in you. I could treat it for you; it is the least I could do after you saved my life.”

Reluctantly, the oni relented. It was the closest the monk would ever get to making a deal with him.

The monk took a spare rag out of his cloak and cleaned the wound, removing the clear poison that was in it. Sparrow – Hawk gritted his teeth at the painful process, but the monk soothed it away with warm, sweet nothings.  One of the orbs around his neck glowed gold and attached itself to the oni far more gently than the purple one.

Immediately, warmth suffused the oni’s veins, and Sparrow – Hawk watched as the reddened skin repaired itself until it was as if there had never been a wound there in the first place. The only evidence was the violent rip in the fabric, and that could be easily patched.

“Thank you, stranger.” The monk gave a short bow. “I apologize for disturbing you once again, but I could go nowhere else.”

“I had been wondering when she’d make a move here,” Sparrow – Hawk admitted. “She’s been lying in wait shortly after I came here. It’s a good spot for her – lots of mourners are distracted and think nothing of a _biwa_ being played.”

“Even still, you did not have to help. I am in your debt, stranger.”

Sparrow – Hawk rolled his eyes. “Was it not you who said that we would be even if I let you tend my wound?”

“I believe my exact words were ‘it is the least I could do’. I do not believe my debt to be paid in full.”

“What could an oni want from a monk?” Sparrow – Hawk bit out, wanting the monk to get to the point.

“Come with me and find out,” the monk challenged calmly.

Sparrow – Hawk’s first reaction was to refuse, to send this idiotic monk packing. What could an oni want from a monk that never ceased to disturb him?

… But then, the monk had only disturbed him by accident, and then to apologize. And as the monk said, he would never know unless he tried.

“Fine. On one condition.”

“Oh?”

“Tell me what those orbs were.”

“Discord and Harmony. The other explanation would take quite a while, and we have loitered here enough, I would say,” the monk replied. “Call me Sunya. If we are to travel together, we should call each other by something other than ‘stranger’ or ‘you’.”

“Most just call me ‘oni’.”

“You will find I am not most.”

Sparrow – Hawk snorts, because isn’t that the damn truth. “Sparrow – Hawk.”

“It’s a pleasure to travel with you, Sparrow – Hawk. Shall we go?” Sunya asks kindly. There’s warmth in the oni’s fingertips now, but he shakes it off and ignores it as he gestures for the monk to lead on.

They take the rightmost path, and Sparrow – Hawk can’t help but feel like there’s something about to happen.

 

* * *

 

Changing clothing was not particularly a concern of either Sunya or Sparrow – Hawk. Both knew how to repair their clothing and tried to wash it before too much muck stained the fabric, but at some point or another they knew they would have to change.

Strangely, it is not to disguise themselves as Sparrow – Hawk had thought. Rather, it is to stand out. Turns out that one of Sunya’s former students had become quite prominent (and therefore wealthy) and wished to treat his former teacher and his companion by hosting a large feast in the village they lived in.

(“I know you are not one for too much pomp and circumstance,” he had said, “but once all the elbow rubbing is over I promise it will be more to your liking.” Sunya had agreed, though Sparrow – Hawk saw the unease. He had said nothing.)

So, seeing their travel and battle-worn clothing, the student had sent them off to the town tailor to get some new clothes. Sparrow – Hawk recognized her as _anarikura-no-baba_ and was immediately wary; he knew full well what she could do to him if she so tried. She said nothing about his obvious aversion to her and instead took on Sunya, sending her human apprentice to take the oni’s measurements.

“Do you not require us to give you an idea of what to make before you take our measurements?” Sparrow – Hawk heard Sunya ask from the other dressing area.

The old lady laughed, shaking her head. “These measurements are very basic, but thorough. I will need you to pick a style, yes, but not before measuring.” She finished writing something down. Her apprentice took a bit longer, intimidated by Sparrow – Hawk, but she finished soon after.

The crone accepted the note her apprentice handed her, nodding.

“The clothes over there,” she said, “I can make those in these measurements by the deadline. Go find something you like.” She turned back to her chair, obviously watching so as to offer input. Her apprentice led them over, showing them to the clothing she was referring too.

“You should be able to change into these without worry of them being too small. We’ll adjust them to your tastes.”

Sunya pulled out a dark green tunic, holding it against his frame. He looked at Sparrow – Hawk for his opinion. The oni almost laughed at how lost the monk looked, but refrained (though only just). He shook his head, rummaging around as Sunya put the tunic back. The amount of clothing was a little ridiculous – why did the _anarikura-no-baba_ have so much spare clothing? – and he loses track of Sunya quickly.

When he reemerges, he cannot hold himself back. He laughs, long and hard, at the frankly ridiculous ensemble Sunya had decided to put together. It was atrocious – purple pants with orange patterning, the same dark green tunic that was overlaid by a bright turquoise jacket that almost touched the floor. It was awful, and he could see the apprentice and tailor looking over and eyes widening in slight horror at the sight of Sunya dressed as such.

Sunya laughed too, feet kicking out just slightly as he giggled.

Sparrow – Hawk shoves the pile of clothes he has with him as soon as he can breathe again.

“Put these on.” The demand would seem more insistent if he hadn’t been trying to say it through giggles.

Sunya graciously took the clothing and went to change once again as Sparrow – Hawk dove back into the clothing to find something for himself.

He ended up emerging with a hooded coat with red accents that completely covered the red tunic he wore beneath it. He traded his pants for a black pair that was more conformed to his legs and tucked into his boots and donned a pair of fingerless gloves from a bin nearby. His mask stayed on.

The tailor nodded at him, seeming content that he knew his way around clothing. He turned to watch the other dressing area, waiting for Sunya to come out.

When he did, Sparrow – Hawk felt as if Sunya had allowed his holy aura to finally come through. It almost burned to look at the monk, he was so radiant. The crimson-and-gold patterned sari covered the simple yellow pants and high collared orange shirt the monk wore beneath it. Sunya’s mask and crown stayed in place.

“You have a good eye,” the tailor hummed appreciatively, “Will these be what you will wear?”

Both Sunya and Sparrow – Hawk nodded.

“Very well. Return to me in two hours; these will be done by then. Come!” She had turned to her apprentice. “There is work to do.”

The monk and the oni changed out of the clothing, handing the neat piles to the apprentice and watching as the two disappeared into a separate area. Sparrow – Hawk could just make out tones of working songs before the door shut.

Unsure of what to do, Sparrow – Hawk and Sunya glanced around.

“Do you wish to put together the worst combinations of clothing that we can as we wait for them to finish?” Sunya proposed.

“I do not think we could beat the abomination that was your first outfit, monk.”

“There is something to be said about trying.” That is the reply he gets, mischief singing through the words. Sparrow – Hawk’s old competitive spirit flares for the first time since… Since. The oni grins, sharp fangs hidden behind the unchanging mask he wore.

“Oh, you’re on.”

 

* * *

 

Another fight, another soul devoured by the spirit that lives in his swords. Sunya doesn’t ask about it, doesn’t demand answers or condemn him for carrying around such a weapon, but he does look at Sparrow – Hawk strangely while he directs his golden orb to hover over his shoulder.

(Later, much later, Sparrow – Hawk will come to recognize this as worry.)

It is not the first time this has happened, nor is it the last that Sparrow – Hawk had picked a fight with someone. It is, however, the first time Sparrow – Hawk had gone in with no warning but a slight hiss as he pulled his katana from his sheath. Sunya had been chatting with a former student of his, barely noticing that his companion had gone until he realized he could no longer hear the faint whirring of the other’s body. Quickly excusing himself, Sunya left in search of the other, finding him in the process of killing another oni. Sunya ignored the victim (it was too late to help them, anyhow) and focused on Sparrow – Hawk.

Typically during these encounters, he is injured in some form or another. The physical wounds are superficial, only a testament to his recklessness (there is skill there, muscle memory forming a type of grace, but there is apathy too, no thoughts to the actions, just rage). The mental injuries… Sunya wants to help, can feel the soul struggling to save itself (and it can, it _can,_ Sunya can see that; it just needs a little guidance), but that is another matter.

Right now, Sparrow – Hawk stands deathly still. There is hardly any movement, and Sunya is sure the only reason he can hear the faint whirr of mechanisms is because he is omnic. There are no injuries on his person, not that he can see at least, but there is something in the way he stands that drives Sunya to act.

“Sparrow – Hawk,” he calls. The other turns from where he stood somewhat over the body, katana still out. It would be threatening if Sunya didn’t know him by now (and before, before, he always had a few tricks up his sleeve. He still has them, but he doesn’t need to use them against his own – dare he say – friend). As it is, it just makes Sunya feel a bit of sorrow. Sparrow – Hawk is not like many oni he has encountered before, hungry for flesh and blood and eager to take it. Sparrow – Hawk takes pride in his skills in battle (and it is pride well earned), but he does not flaunt them often. This is not the pose of a battle well-fought. This is the pose of someone who is so very _tired._

Sunya approaches him, carefully, slowly, and gently places a hand on the other’s shoulder, affixing an Orb of Harmony on his friend. The other watches it float gently, tracking it absentmindedly. Sunya guides mindless feet out of the alley, but as they leave, he hears a whisper on the wind.

_“Traitor,”_ it accusses. The stiffening of Sparrow – Hawk lets him know it was not imagined.

“Let us return to camp,” Sunya says, forcing curiosity back. It takes a moment, but Sparrow – Hawk nods, and off they go.

Hours later, they sit around the fire that Sunya had started.

 “I was Sparrow in life,” Sparrow – Hawk starts. The mask stares into the fire, the light playing over the hard material and making it more menacing. “Flighty. I didn’t like to be tied down to anyone or anything. I was really only loyal to my brother, but we were part of a yakuza clan. And when the yakuza doubts your loyalty, you die.” He shrugged. “It’s happened before; I even helped with a few moles. Then they thought I was one. And so the leader was sent to kill me.”

Sunya puts the pieces together and winces internally. “Your brother.”

Sparrow – Hawk nods. “More of a puppet than a leader. The clan elders would submit to his decisions, but they were all cobras waiting to strike, leaking poison in the meantime. He succumbed to it eventually and tried to kill me. He almost succeeded, but…”

“Desperation,” the monk fills in when it is clear that the oni will not continue. He has heard tales of those who suffered a betrayal from one they considered close praying to be able to take on revenge. Some prayers are answered, and some become oni. That must’ve been what Sparrow – Hawk was trying to say.

The oni nods and says no more, apparently staring into the fire. Sunya doesn’t know what else to say – any comforts would sound empty and hallow and wouldn’t help Sparrow – Hawk at all anyway – so he places a hand over the oni’s. The aforementioned being startles; he hasn’t been touched since… Since. It’s… nice. _Warm._ The omnic is comforting, soothing with his mere presence; this is ten times so.

The monk removes it without a comment after a few minutes, and for a moment Sparrow – Hawk despairs its loss. The feeling passed.

But the warmth remained.

Sparrow – Hawk tells him more, in bits and pieces in their campsites (or room, if they are lucky). Chunks of a former life long forgotten, memories left to collect dust in the deepest recesses of a mind, only to be dredged up in the meditation sessions the two have every night.

One night, Sparrow – Hawk details about the games he played with his peers and the village children, always cheered by seeing the young ones happy. He could not do much else, not without tying debts to names that did not deserve having the yakuza on their heads. But he could bring them a bit of happiness.

During another, he briefly mentions his various partners. He twitches and falls silent once he realizes what he’s saying and to whom, and although Sunya has no outward reaction and has stated before he does not mind, the oni stops and says little else other than perhaps he indulged too much, though he doesn’t truly regret being with any of them.

There’s one night that stands out to Sunya. It is dark, the only light in the sparse room they were granted coming from the moon; all the candles had long since burned out or were extinguished. Their masks reflect the light, though only barely. Sunya has to change his sight’s contrast in order to be able to see more than just the white mask of his companion as Sparrow – Hawk speaks of his brother.

“There are… perhaps an equal amount of good and bad memories, with an equal amount of memories that are neither. Our falling out was… an extended process with many external and internal factors littering it, and the result…” Sparrow – Hawk gestures at himself. Sunya nods, a motion for the oni to continue. “For a long time, he was my protector, my partner-in-crime, and for a long time, my hero. I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. Until I didn’t. Until I realized what it was our family did, and why we actually did it. Then I didn’t want any of it – not the wealth, the power, the fame, though I suppose ‘infamy’ is the better choice of words. I started going out more, coming back less. I do not believe it would’ve changed the outcome, had I stayed around more.” Throughout it all, the oni plays with the hammer charm on his belt, turning it in his fingers. There is a stretch of silence – not uncomfortable, but not necessarily friendly, either – and then Sparrow – Hawk starts talking again, speaking of the good times with his brother and letting memory lead where it may. Stories of holidays, vacations, school, pranks on various family members and unsuspecting passerby, it is all told. The oni only stops when the sun begins to rise, grumbling as he shifts over slightly, irritated at the brightness of day.

Awhile later, it is the not-so-good memories, the beginning of the end. More arguments ending with slammed doors and heated words and no reconcilement from either party. Eventually the boiling pot simmered over, and here they are today, with Sparrow becoming Sparrow – Hawk. The oni shrugs, so very different from the anger and discordant reactions he would have when the two first met, but Sunya’s not entirely sure that apathy is a healthier reaction.

His hand hovers over the oni’s shoulder. Sparrow – Hawk is picky about touch, and has really only let Sunya touch him when the omnic heals him after a scuffle (and that one time after the fight with another being from the clan), but tonight the oni allows the hand to rest on his shoulder. Sunya, for once, cannot think of the right words to say, but judging by the minor release of tension in the oni’s shoulders, no words are needed.

The moment passes, but the two still sit next to each other, both falling into a state of rest that is not quite sleep, but is not awake either.

 

 There were many stops on their journey together. The one Sparrow – Hawk remembers best is the worst one. The two stop in a city as opposed to a village. Sparrow – Hawk keeps a sharp, wary eye out for other supernatural critters lurking on the street. He’s not surprised to find some kitsune, and the presence of an ameonna followed by an amefurikozō marks that this city will have rain soon.

They are interrupted in their supply getting when a mu-onna approaches them. Sparrow –Hawk’s hand drifts towards his blades, but Sunya holds out his hand and shakes his head.

“A message, Master Sunya,” she says quietly as she shakily hands over a scroll.

Sunya takes it carefully, trying to take the spirit’s hand in comfort, but she denies the action and motions toward the scroll.

Sparrow – Hawk feels the confusion that rolls off of Sunya but says nothing and waits for the monk to open and read the message.

The persistent whirring that had become white noise so long ago to the oni is louder than ever, drawing the attention of a few shop vendors. The mu-onna looks like she wants to move closer, but one glance at Sparrow – Hawk and she stays away.

Sunya says nothing, which is something that wouldn’t be peculiar were it not for the way his systems are whirring. Sparrow – Hawk feels something inside him twinge, and he is suddenly paranoid of the eyes and ears.

“Thank you for delivering the message,” he thanks the spirit curtly, receiving a nod as he guides Sunya away. His hand twitches for his blades at every movement that is too close for his taste, which is almost all of them.

They retreat back to camp. All the while, Sunya does not speak a word, but the whirring only grows louder.

When they reach the camp, Sunya sits on the log he had sat on the night previous and doesn’t move further. He stares at the scroll in his hand as if it could not exist, but it does. It is disturbing and unsettling; it is not the quiet, companionable silences that Sparrow – Hawk had grown used to (and welcomed). The oni twitches and shimmies and squirms, unsure of how to proceed.

“Sunya,” he ends up murmuring, soft and low. It catches the monk’s attention, enough for his optical sensors to swivel towards him and the scroll to twitch out enough that Sparrow – Hawk understands that he is meant to take it and read it.

He does. The note is short, simple, and perhaps a bit stuttering, but the message comes clear when Sparrow -Hawk reads the name and promptly forgets it as the ink shimmers and shifts.

Sunya had mentioned his brother in passing before, but this is not the way Sparrow – Hawk intended to find out more about him. Not a note about his _death_.

What makes it worse is how it is phrased – _Mondatta has been killed._ Not died, not deceased or deactivated. _Been killed_. Murdered. Life ended with intent to do so.

Sparrow – Hawk feels his dragon as it awakens from his righteous anger, hungry for the blood of those who dared to harm anyone close to the one who had hard earned both it and its vessel’s trust, but Sparrow – Hawk pushes it down. He has no information, no leads, and most importantly: Sunya needs him now. The monk sits still, staring at nothing, the whirring still as loud as it has been.

Sparrow – Hawk opens his mouth to say –

… He doesn’t know. What do you say during something like this? “Sorry”? “I hope you feel better soon”? Any words feel empty, condolences meaningless nothings. So, instead, he sits on the log, right next to Sunya. He opens his hand in clear invitation, hoping that Sunya sees.

A warm hand lands in his own, the large bangle that adorns it bumping his wrist. Sparrow – Hawk closes his fingers, squeezing gently, hoping that it is enough.

A squeeze back, and the whirring gets slightly quieter.

A long pause, and then:

“I have long accepted that I am not human, and thus there will be some things they can do that I cannot and vice versa. I have never particularly wished for any aspect of humanity.

But in this case, I wish I could cry as they do,” Sunya whispers, voice overlaid with feedback and static.

Sparrow – Hawk shifts closer, and Sunya leans into him. Nothing else is said.

Nothing needs to be.

 

* * *

 

It is a short amount of time after their meeting before Sunya asks about Ryu Ichimongi. Sparrow – Hawk’s surprised it took the monk this long to ask about it; despite the amount of time he spends meditating, the omnic is particularly chatty, throwing bit of wisdom among non-consequential sentences about weather. It was endearing, perhaps, but to Sparrow – Hawk it was frustrating. The monk seemed to speak in circles around bushes, and the oni would only realize he was walking the same path again and again hours later. He would often snap at the omnic to say what he meant from the get-go, or retort with words sharper than his katana.

But the point remains that he’s surprised that it took Sunya this long to get to this conversation, but in its inevitability Sparrow – Hawk was prepared for it.

“I’ve never seen a sword like yours before.”

“Because there is no other like it.”

He feels Sunya’s questioning look despite the fact that the faceplate - for all it looks like it’s an expressive face - does not emote. But he does not elaborate, and the monk appears to get the hint.

Nothing is said about the sword for a long time, not until Sparrow – Hawk has told him of Okami, of the falling out between human brothers that led to Sparrow – Hawk’s existence and, apparently, his sword’s.

It is only after the death of Mondatta that Sparrow – Hawk tells him. The monk had become listless, going about days in an automatic manner that was not a result of his omnic nature, but that of his emotional response. Sparrow – Hawk is almost desperate to get Sunya regain some of his former self (not the same self, Sunya would never be the same after a blow like _that_ ), and so when the monk asks for Sparrow – Hawk to speak, he tells him the story, hoping that the monk’s previous curiosity will inspire… something.

Sparrow – Hawk tells him that before his transformation, he had been trained in the art of the sword, excelling at his training, the process and mindset just _clicking_ , though he very rarely put any effort into maintaining his training when he found out the truth about his family. After the fight that had left him bleeding, broken, praying for revenge and being granted _this_ , waking in a body that was his but also was not, he found that his swords had been taken and placed in storage, left to collect dust and dirt, hidden in darkness where no one could see them, no one would see the remainder of the man they ordered to be struck down so their power would never be questioned.

When he reached them, the spirit that had remained dormant in his bones had come out, but it was not the same spirit as it was before. Its scales half – rotted, the healthy neon-green dulled and diluted into murky brown and dying grass green, half-crazed with anger and sadness, leapt from his skin and into the swords set, changing it from an impersonalized blade to one that matched his appearance now. Blackened blades with red accents, the oni scoffed at the little charm at the ends depicting Yin and Yang. He can still feel his dragon in the corner of his mind, but unlike his previous life, it is now silent. Sparrow – Hawk does not poke at it, unwilling to bring forth the mindset he had briefly felt from the spirit as it leapt from his body to his blades.

It is only when he uses the katana for the first time that he realizes the true extent of its nature. The bloodlust the dragon spirit now feels near constantly becomes overwhelming, and when Sparrow – Hawk comes back to himself and finds the corpses of those he had slain half – eaten by too large teeth, he flees. He runs into more Shimada clan, whispers and rumors of the oni who has a dragon in his sword spreading, making the Shimada clan quickly figure out what had happened and being desperate to silence it, forcing him to draw it out more. There’s a period of time where the dragon’s mind had infected Sparrow – Hawk’s own, leading to him hunting down a large chunk of the Shimada clan before he fled to wherever he was led, ending at the crossroads where the two had met.

It is not a particularly happy story, but by the way the monk stares at him, Sparrow – Hawk figures it was intriguing enough.

“Ah,” Sunya says, but that is all. Sparrow – Hawk is disheartened, briefly, but it steels itself into determination. Sunya was there for the oni when he needed it most, and now the tables have turned. He goes on to tell what the spirit was like before his “death”, focusing on the happier stories but not skipping over the bad.

Sunya manages to ask a few questions in between sentences, and Sparrow – Hawk takes it as a victory.

 

* * *

 

 

It is a slow recovery, but Sparrow – Hawk absorbs every detail. They passed through many towns, former students offering condolences when they crossed paths, and even running into a couple of siblings Sunya was on good terms with. Sparrow – Hawk is not entirely sure what happened during that brief hour, but Sunya emerged from it with steps lighter than they had been since they had received the news.

Sparrow – Hawk is not sure how many cycles of the sun and moon pass before Sunya begins talking in earnest once again. It is familiar to hear the monk chatting his ear off, but instead of philosophy or weather, Sunya shared stories about his brother. Most happy, some sad, others humorous.

Sparrow – Hawk’s favorite story very obviously means much to Sunya. The two had somehow gotten on the topic of names, which could be a very dangerous path to tread. But somehow, Sparrow – Hawk wasn’t disturbed by it. Perhaps it was the simple fact that it was Sunya he was speaking with.

Regardless, the fire burned low as Sunya started his tale.

“I remember picking my name. We had just found the monastery, had just started repairing it. We do not require as much rest as other beings, and all of us know our limits, so it was a much smoother process than most imagine it to be. Many of us found the motions meditative, but for those of us who did not, we would spend a short while meditating before resting.”

“You were one of them?” It was partially a question, partially a statement. Sunya answered regardless.

“Yes. Muni and I … that is to say, my brother and I were among these numbers. We felt as if we were missing something, but we could not figure out what it was. It took many moons for us to see the Iris, myself longer than him. One of our obstacles was that we did not know who we were – not… entirely. Any omnic is aware of their true name, and we know when it has finished changing.” This part was whispered, meant only for Sparrow – Hawk’s ears. Nodding to show that he heard and understood, Sparrow – Hawk motioned for Sunya to continue. “But we did not have our casual names. As I have said, I do not wish to only call people ‘you’, which was a practice that had started at the monastery. We were small, then, but only planning to get larger, and it was a temporary solution at best. Most creatures have parents or other guardians to give them their names, but we only had each other. My brother had the idea that we could come up with our own names. It took us a long while to settle on what we wanted to be called.”

“Oh?” Sparrow – Hawk smiled beneath the mask.

“Yes. I believe a few of the names we had gone through were Orchid and Lotus, Acolyte and Teacher, Orb and Chin, and some others that were more jokes than suggestions.” Sparrow – Hawk could hear the smile in the other’s voice, and while the mask did not emote, Sunya still lifted a hand to cover its mouth as if it would open. He seemed to sober quickly, but when he spoke, it was more of nostalgic melancholy than actual sorrow. “We only knew that we wanted to match, at least a little bit. Pea and Pod were another set we had thought about. But none of them quite… fit, perhaps is the term. We struggled with this for a long while.

It was just after we had finished the monastery – we did not yet have the banners or statues, but everything else had been updated; those would come when we started gaining traction within the world – that we had found our names. The sun and moon were in the sky at the same time, and some of the women down in the village had children, so discussion of names was at a peak. So we tried to find names that had to do with the sun and moon but weren’t the same.”

“Sunya and Muni.”

Sunya inclined his head. “Indeed. Mine was a mismatch of syllables that I quite enjoyed. Muni took his name from the fact that it sounds slightly similar to ‘moon’, though at the time we believed it meant ‘one who teaches the truth’. We found it fitting.”

Sparrow – Hawk’s eyes narrowed in worry and confusion at the wording. “Believed it meant?”

“Yes. Some meanings were lost or twisted in the isolation of the mountain. I have only found out recently that it meant something else.”

Even Sparrow – Hawk could feel the discord. “What does it mean?”

He regretted it as soon as the words were out.

Sunya blankly says this: “Silent. It means ‘silent’.”

And that is what hurts. The irony of fate, the aptness of both meanings of the same name. Sparrow – Hawk aches with it, and cannot imagine how Sunya feels about it, cannot imagine the pain.

Sparrow – Hawk sits closer and offers his hand, a gesture now common. Sunya takes it and squeezes.

Then sits closer, a line of contact with Sparrow – Hawk warming him from the outside in, and leans his head on the other’s armored shoulder. It cannot be comfortable, but Sunya gives a contented sigh and another squeeze, a question in response to Sparrow – Hawk’s tensing.

_Is this alright?_

Sparrow – Hawk takes a moment, but squeezes back and stays.

_Yes._

They fall asleep like that, the fire dying. Sparrow – Hawk’s dragon takes over the watch, pestering the oni just before dawn so he can keep the pretense of having taken watch alive.

It is after then that Sparrow – Hawk feels as if Sunya has truly begun to heal.

 

* * *

 

New Year’s is probably the most exciting stop they made that wasn’t for a fight. The village Sunya had led him to was brightly decorated in red and gold, lanterns strung up on ropes that covered the main street. Vendors of food, wares, trinkets, and rip-offs all set up their shops on the side, allowing for plenty of foot traffic. It’s not jam-packed like many main cities are, but there is a large crowd filled with both supernatural and mortal. Sparrow – Hawk sees baku roaming outside of the festivities, waiting patiently for the children to return home. He sees that several merchants are kitsune and makes a mental note to check their wares if Sunya is interested in them; they often have fine items but are just as likely to use trickery to rip off a patron. A nurarihyon sneaks in shadows, avoiding the vigilant baku. Sparrow – Hawk notices that he takes nothing, just ruffles the items in the house a bit to make the inhabitants wonder. Several other spirits roam around, none of them a particular threat. Satisfied with his observations, he turns back to his companion who has spent the last few minutes chatting with an old student of his who lived here. The two say their farewells and Sunya turns to him as well. “Do you see anything that has caught your attention?” he asks.

“Some of the merchants are kitsune,” Sparrow – Hawk murmurs in reply.

“Then you must show me around,” the monk insists, tilting his head in such a way that Sparrow – Hawk knows is his way of smiling. It is strange, that the monk does not choose to see through the disguises, letting his optics be fooled, as far as the oni can tell. Even so, he guides his companion through without complaint, even as the monk strings his arm through his own as they look at the multiple trinkets of one of the vendors.

He was right – the kitsune have valuables and fakes smattered throughout their wares, and they smile wider when Sparrow – Hawk and Sunya approach them. Sparrow – Hawk doesn’t know if it’s because they look easy to fool or if they’re happy to have a challenge. Typical foxes – tricky. Sunya gets a few new scrolls out of it; writings of an older scholar he never had a chance to read for himself, he claimed. Sparrow – Hawk picks out a bag to carry them in.

(And if he happens to slip a few wrapped baked goods in there when Sunya isn’t looking… well. No one has to know.)

But it is only when the sun has fully set that the memory truly takes form. The streets are lit with a soft glow from the red lanterns and various events start happening all at once, ranging from performances to street games to more vendors. Some of the supernatural beings fade away, chased off by the colors and sounds. Others can stay.

Sparrow – Hawk feels antsy. He is one of the spirits who is usually chased away by such rituals, but Sunya’s presence is grounding, and the feeling fades into that peculiar warmth when Sunya takes his hand, excitedly pulling him into the area cleared for dancing.

“Do you know how?” Sunya asked.

“It has been a long time.” Even when he was human, he did not participate often, his company more interested in other pursuits. He doesn’t truly recall the last time he danced as such; all he can remember is that he was happy while he and many others did the simple moves.

“It has been the same for me, though I enjoy the moves and practice them. Allow me to jog your memory.” As the music picks up again, Sunya starts to lead him. Sparrow – Hawk finds it is much like riding a bicycle: once you get going, your muscles remember how to move and it becomes mindless. Soon enough, Sunya is giggling as they dance together.

They proceed in this fashion – Sunya reminding Sparrow – Hawk of the steps before they join the rest of the town – for a long time; long enough that the moon’s position has changed significantly. Much of the crowd has left, leaving a few groupings behind: teenagers in their groups, a few couples that do not have children to take care of, and the odd guardian-child combination who seem content to watch the wind down. The band has switched from livelier jaunts to slower, calmer music. A few of the aforementioned couples are swaying gently.

Sunya and Sparrow – Hawk are off to the side, sitting on a stone wall that encircles a tree covered in lanterns instead of leaves. They had backed out once the dances started slowing down, taking a breather from all the fast paced moves and giving Sparrow – Hawk a mental break.

He sees Sunya shift out of the corner of his eye. Turning slightly to make the sight more clear, he sees that Sunya has curled up slightly, resting his head in his hands as he stares out at the couples.

If Sparrow – Hawk had to guess, it was longing. The faceplate, despite appearances, offered no expressions, so Sparrow – Hawk had to rely on intuition. It is possible that Sunya has missed this aspect as well. Sparrow – Hawk valiantly ignores the feelings this thought stirs in him, focusing instead on standing and offering his hand.

“Oh?” Sunya asks, though it is rhetorical.

Sparrow – Hawk doesn’t say anything, unsure of what he should say, but he is saved by Sunya taking his hand. He pulls the other back to the dance area gently, staying towards the edge. He begins with a few simple steps, Sunya quickly falling into the pattern.

“Didn’t need my help to remember this one, did you?” Sunya murmurs.

Sparrow – Hawk chuckles. “Some things you do not forget.”

They stay that way for quite a while, a simple back-and-forth of steps.

Sparrow – Hawk doesn’t realize until much, much later, that the antsy feeling he had crawling under his skin all night is completely gone, chased away by Sunya’s warmth. It is even longer before he realizes that the itch never came back.

 

* * *

 

Sunya has always been aware of his own self and emotions ever since his Awakening. It is a skill he has honed ever since he discovered he had it, practicing using it as he practices using his mala. He knows of his emotions and comes to peace with them, knowing that it is part of being alive.

It comes as a bit of a surprise, then, when he finds himself feeling something both familiar and strange all at once. He doesn’t know what to make of it and cannot settle the feeling, so it perturbs him. For quite some time, he is unaware of the cause of such a feeling, but then came New Years.

Then came New Years, and the festive town, and the merchants, and then the…

He could tell Sparrow – Hawk was uncomfortable. The oni’s sheer strength allowed him to remain in the town despite the multiple rituals that would normally send him away, and Sunya may or may not have manipulated his own power to bolster the fact, but therein laid the problem. Normally, he would’ve led Sparrow – Hawk out of the town, back to their campsite where the oni would have no fear of being chased off, but there was something about those moments that led him to the decision to remain.

And he’s overjoyed he did. The dances were familiar – his students had taught him, and before then, the Shambali had practiced with the village nearby the monastery they had found and called home – and reminding Sparrow – Hawk of them was both pleasant and nostalgic, the oni seeming much more at ease as he followed Sunya’s steps.

But then the night slowed, and Sunya could not help but feel a tad bit of longing as he gazed out at the slow dancing couples. He had seen love before; he had known of a love for his siblings, his students, and his love of life in general. But he is unsure of romance, and could not help but wonder what it would be like to be a part of one of those dancing couples, to look at a partner like they put the stars in the sky (well, metaphorically perhaps) and receive the look in turn.

And then Sparrow – Hawk had surprised him, asking him to dance in his own wordless way. He thought he would be teaching the oni, but it was apparent that his companion had more tricks up his sleeve than Sunya had originally believed.

As they continued, the feeling became more and more pronounced, until Sunya thought he might combust with it, and that is when the epiphany began.

Despite common belief, epiphanies take time. For Sunya to come to the conclusion on his own took but until the night after, when his dreams (as strange as omnic dreams are as compared to those of humans or several other creatures) were filled with memories of those dances, but with different endings than just them returning to camp with their purchased goodies. Endings where their masks had been put aside, where Sparrow – Hawk’s largely unclear face had inched closer to his own, where…

And that is where the conclusion happened, as Sunya awoke with the sun and Sparrow – Hawk gently shaking him to begin the day’s travel.

_Oh,_ he thought as he watched Sparrow – Hawk messily gobble down some of the pastries he had bought the other day, his mask lifted only enough for the monk to see the other’s lips and chin, the former bisected by a scar he could not see the rest of, _love. That is what that feeling is._

He almost says as much, almost allows the words to come out of his vocalizer (it would be so _easy_ , to just let the words go and watch as the oni choked on his large bite), but something stills them, and then the moment is gone. Sunya is frustrated, for a few minutes, perhaps tightening the straps of the pack he carries the slightest bit too tight before the feeling settles.

_It is alright. I must have faith that the Iris will grant another chance._ Harmony works in mysterious ways, after all. Perhaps there is a better time.

 

* * *

 

 

Koi flags fly high when Sunya and Sparrow – Hawk find the latter’s brother.

Find, perhaps, is generous; they more of stumble across him as they journey through a town nearby what was once Sparrow – Hawk’s home. Sunya notices Sparrow – Hawk tense in his peripheral vision as the latter scans the rest of the market they had stopped at. His hand does not slip to his katana, as it normally does when other demons lurk nearby threateningly, which strikes Sunya as odd.

They had changed course and headed here for nostalgic purposes. The Iris, it appears, had another plan.

Aware that his companion may flee at any given moment, Sunya wraps up the conversation as quickly as he can, uncaring if he is ruder than he cares to be. Sparrow – Hawk does not comment, does not move, does not do anything. Sunya grabs his hand and tugs, leading him to a concealed alleyway.

A few stray cats scatter at their presence, but it is mercifully free of others.

“Sparrow – Hawk, wha-” Sunya never gets to finish as Sparrow – Hawk comes back to himself.

“He was there! I saw him! He was-” Sparrow – Hawk cuts himself off, continuing in a language that Sunya knows but cannot understand with how quickly and garbled his companion speaks.

Gently turning Sparrow – Hawk’s head to look at his mask, Sunya gives instructions.

“Breathe, Sparrow – Hawk. In…. out. In… out. Yes, just like that,” the monk encourages as the oni follows directions. “Do you wish to say what it is that has upset you so?”

“I saw him – I saw Okami.”

The two rarely speak of their brothers, but they speak enough of them that Sunya instantly knows how big of a deal it is. He is unsure of what to say, but Sparrow – Hawk keeps talking.

“I saw him – he was so different. So, so different…” The oni looks a little lost, unsure of what it is he feels towards the being that had opened the way to his transformation.

Sunya notices. “Let us return. We can discuss more there.”

The two leave the alleyway behind with no traces of them having been there at all.

(On the way back, Sparrow – Hawk thinks about the differences he had noticed in the brother he knew and the brother he saw, and feels a deep sorrow. They had both changed a great deal.)

Sparrow – Hawk has settled on feeling irate. It shows in his steps, quick and restless without purpose, treading the same stretch of flatted sweet grass again and again. Sunya tracks him with careful eyes without a sound, waiting. The oni will speak when he is ready, and not a moment sooner.

Sparrow – Hawk made a low sound in his throat, a strange combination of a groan and a growl, before plopping himself right next to Sunya on the log. He holds his head in his hands as he stares out of the campsite, though Sunya doubts he sees much of anything, lost in thought and turmoil as the oni is.

Sunya simply gazes at him, head tilted to the side in curiosity. Now was the time for a wordless prompt, the oni ready to speak.

“I want to forgive him,” he starts, never one to mince words when there was a point to get to. He says it in fond frustration, in anger cooled by time and some abstract feeling of loyalty, or perhaps love.

“He is still my brother, no matter how long I tried to pretend like he no longer was. I want to forgive him, but he makes it so... _hard_ ,” he grinds out eventually.

The sentiment, at its core, is familiar to Sunya, so the omnic slowly, slowly takes the oni’s hand, giving plenty of warning of his intention so Sparrow – Hawk could chose to move away or accept it.

The oni grasps back.

“It is often like that with siblings, no?”

Sparrow – Hawk is reminded of the brief conversations the monk has had about his own brother and other siblings he left behind in his disagreement with them.

He still loves them, despite the time, despite the distance, despite the doubt that Sparrow – Hawk knows lurks inside his soul when it comes to the other monks. It still shows in the way Sunya speaks of them.

And Sparrow – Hawk nods. It is not a knowing statement; it is one born of understanding and empathy.

Sparrow – Hawk can appreciate that.

 

* * *

 

 

As pacifist as Sunya as, and as much attention as Sparrow – Hawk tries to divert, there are always those who make others suffer for reasons they themselves cannot comprehend. After the spider-woman, more battles follow, but they proceed in a similar fashion: when the fight starts, Sparrow – Hawk dashes in and strikes with quick swipes of his short blade. Once Sunya sees an opening, the Orb of Discord is launched, and Sparrow – Hawk attacks the place it is rooted to. If the target is too far away, orbs and shuriken are launched until Sparrow – Hawk can close the distance or until the other runs too far away. Sparrow - Hawk is not particularly careful in his dashes and often ends the battle with a heavy (but not life-threatening) injury. Sunya affixes the Orb of Harmony to him.

The first time it happens, he chides the oni. “Strength is not everything. You will find yourself on the wrong end of a blade if you continue like this.” Sunya receives only an angry grunt in reply, the oni choosing to track the glowing orb instead of looking at him.

The fifth time, Sunya sighs, but says nothing. Sparrow – Hawk hisses as the large wound closes and pretends that the words hanging heavy in the air are not there at all.

The thirtieth time, Sunya sighs before whispering “I do wish you would take better care of yourself.” ( _For the sake of my heart_ is what Sunya wants to add, but discord stills the words in his vocalizer.) This time, Sparrow – Hawk listens.

The next time they go into battle, Sparrow – Hawks moves are more precise, more effective, more pristine than they have been since… Since. It is a far cry from how he once operated, but he has improved. He still gets injured – he is but one man, and the Orb Sunya latches to him is not a miracle cure – but this time, Sunya seems more at peace when he goes to treat Sparrow – Hawk’s injury. The oni settles, the discordant energy that usually hung over these sessions like storm clouds absent. Something still doesn’t sit right with him, though.

“What is wrong?” Sunya asks. He is terribly good at reading Sparrow – Hawk’s moods and puts the ability to use frequently.

“Nothing,” comes the reply. Months ago it would’ve been biting and curt. Now, however, the edges are dulled, soothed by time and patience and healing.

Sunya seems doubtful, but does not press. Sparrow – Hawk will come when he is ready.

Later that night as Sunya rests by the dying embers of their fire, Sparrow – Hawk begins to meditate. He never was particularly adept, but Sunya has patience to spare and the oni has been able to use it as a tool to sort out his thoughts when they get too messy. He does so now.

Ever since he has come back, there was a cold that would not leave. He has adapted to it, given time, and did not take notice of it until it was gone. But, as he thought about it, the only time when warmth entered Sparrow – Hawk’s frame was when Sunya touched him, or laughed, or smiled in the way he only could. Sparrow – Hawk continued down the path his thoughts were leading him, allowing ideas to pass without judgment when enlightenment blooms.

_Oh,_ he thinks dazedly, _I love him_.

But this starts another train of thought. He has not known love – at least, not of the kind he imagines he feels for the monk – he has only read of it, heard it from others willing to share their tales. Can he truly say he loves him, if he cannot even put his feelings into words?

A younger version of him would’ve said no. But a younger him was more foolish and reckless and is not the same person that he is now. As it is now, he is unsure.

He leaves the matter for now. He will not be getting answers tonight, and he has spent too long ignoring himself to be able to do the amount of self-introspection he needs to in order to be able to sort these thoughts and feelings, so he just… drops it. Leaves it, even if another part of his mind (that sounds suspiciously like his brother) calls him coward.

Perhaps he is, but it is a thing he will deal with later.

He lays the tiniest bit closer to Sunya when he goes to take his turn to rest, the warmth from the monk beating that of the now dead embers. If Sunya notices, he does not comment.

Sparrow – Hawk closes his eyes and seeks sleep. Mercifully, it is dreamless.

 

* * *

 

 

Sunya remembers learning of his new name high up in the mountains with his newfound brother. They are new, and naïve, but they hold knowledge of _something_ , there is an otherness about them that makes others afraid. Omnics know their name when they are created, but a true name can change. Omnics will always know when theirs has solidified. Sunya felt the pull years ago and dribbled discord in his footsteps. He was not the same as he once was, but does that mean a part of him was lost?

“No, bright one,” Muni had said, “It just means that you are made anew. A caterpillar changes into a butterfly, but it is still the same being, is it not?”

It didn’t cure the discord immediately, but it was a balm to his aching soul. It started his path to healing that wound, and when he was close to the end, he knew what he wanted to do.

So far, Sunya has only shared his true name with one other being. That other being lies dead now, killed in cold blood, honored by incense and statues and the ashes in an urn on a shrine upon a tall mountain, surrounded by flowers that should not grow there (but do anyway for reasons unknown). Sunya has kept his secret well-hidden, not feeling the need to share it with any other. Not because they are unworthy, no. Rather, it is because he did not feel as connected to those other than his brother.

“Zenyatta,” Sparrow – Hawk says, testing the rolling of the syllables in his mouth. The monk shivers, feeling something like ghostly fingers running down his back. He knows what he has done by this – he has given this _oni_ , this _being_ , the ability to do whatever he wanted to Zenyatta. Sparrow – Hawk could kill him; invoke his true name and draw his sword and the monk wouldn’t be able to do anything, such was the power he had freely, willingly given him. He is vulnerable, his mask and crown removed, his true name in the hands of another.

Sparrow – Hawk knows this. Zenyatta could’ve played tricky, could’ve demanded a deal or invoked a life debt (and Sparrow – Hawk would’ve honored it, would’ve obeyed every rule it entailed because the monk had saved his life in so many ways now that he was sure that they were not even), but he didn’t. He had just told him, trusted him enough to hold this knowledge, to keep it within his heart and not betray it.

Warmth flowed through him once again, but instead of a brief sensation, this one seemed to be lodged within him. He marveled at it, briefly, the soothing feeling he only felt around Sun- _Zenyatta._ (The warmth he felt just from thinking the name was indescribably pleasant and thrilling.)

Sparrow – Hawk laid his remaining hand over Zenyatta’s. He pressed his forehead against the others, making him freeze. The hand then removed itself, drawing the monk’s attention down to the knot of phalanges and palms before he heard rustling. He looked up and barely managed to suppress an instinctive jump of surprise at seeing Sparrow – Hawk’s face without his mask. Sparrow – Hawk either didn’t notice the monk’s hesitation or elected to ignore it, simply staring into the eyes in the faceplate.

Slowly, slowly, Sparrow – Hawk pressed his lips to Zenyatta’s mouthseam. The monk’s grip tightened around the oni’s hand, and Sparrow – Hawk used the connection point to pull him closer. The surprised monk must’ve come back to himself, as he responded to the kiss as best he could, leaning and angling his head, chest, and shoulders to push back into Sparrow – Hawk.

It was brief and relatively chaste, but Zenyatta still seemed flustered, something Sparrow – Hawk found both endearing and amusing as he pulled slightly away.

“Thank you, Sparrow – Hawk,” Zenyatta murmurs, but Sparrow – Hawk shakes his head.

“Genji,” he replies just as softly, “I am Genji.”

“Genji,” Zenyatta returns, and now it’s the oni’s turn to shiver. The warmth flares at Zenyatta’s reverent tone, and Genji feels like he could become _kami_ if he could hear it again. He presses back in for another kiss, not knowing how else to respond, and is welcomed.


	2. Behind the Scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I put a lot of work into this fic! This is a glimpse into how much.

Informative chapter:

This is where I clean up some info and tell you guys where I got mine. Because this is the one fic I actually did research for, I was so invested. Typically I’d do stuff like this in some fun facts in the bottom notes, but it got a little too lengthy for that. And by that I mean it’s like 4k words. I live on in my trend of being long-winded.

Before we get started, I would like to say that while I don’t count Wikipedia as a 100% reliable source (though I still count it as more reliable than my high school teachers do, depending on the subject), I do not have the time nor energy to go searching for the books/other sources in which these beings are studied/mentioned as per the “sources” section of the Wiki. So if it’s wrong, I’m sorry. A creative liberty license was used, but I tried to keep true to what I read, at least in part. Yokai.com was used as a secondary check and a lot of things agreed, so I at least tried to keep the initial idea the same, but this in no way should be taken as a guide.

Firstly, some definitions/descriptions of creatures:

Oni – a form of yōkai. The closest word we have in English (or in the Western tradition as a whole, really) is demon, but there’s much more to an oni, some of which is described below. Other common translations are trolls and ogres, though again an exact translation is nonexistent.

_Jorōgumo –_ a spider woman who enchants her victims into a quiet shack, play the _biwa_ , and bind her victim in silk threads in order to eat them as they were distracted. In the Edo time period, or so I am led to believe. They usually operate in solitude and can get away with it for years, even if this one was a little gung-ho on getting her prey.

_Biwa_ – a Japanese lute.

_Wakizashi_ – a short blade worn with a katana by a samurai in feudal Japan. The pairing of the blades is called [ _daishō_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daish%C5%8D), or big – little. Also worn by Genji in Overwatch. As near as I can tell, at least.

_Arikura-no-baba_ – translating to “ant-saddle hag”, an old woman with supernatural powers. Some Scottish folklore influence of a carline (or carlin) woman, who I am slightly more familiar with. Both are magical women (usually older) who had magical powers via objects/incantations. There are many examples of a carline woman, but my first encounter came with the song _Wife of Usher’s Well._ Look it up on Youtube, it’s pretty neat.

_Yakuza_ – Japanese mob.

_Kitsune_ – meaning “fox”, these spirits are intelligent beings with magical powers that increase with age and wisdom. Some stories depict them as tricksters (though, as with many tricksters in folklore, you can expect them to keep their word, just perhaps not in the ways you expect). Others are depicted as loyal and faithful and are the messengers of the gods. The more tails they have (up to nine), the more powerful they are. You might be familiar with the Pokémon based off of these creatures: Vulpix and its evolved form of Ninetails. There are so many other references and variations too; they are a very common theme.

_Yōkai_ – supernatural monsters such as ghosts, phantoms, spirits, demons, and strange apparitions in Japanese folklore. Gods do not appear to be included in this; it is more of a term used for “lesser” supernatural beings. Similar to how nymphs, dryads, satyrs, etc. aren’t gods but aren’t exactly mortal in Greek mythology.

_Amefurikozō –_ a little boy spirit who plays in the rain/is a bringer of rain; they wear a paper umbrella with the central pole missing and often carry a paper lantern. Creative liberty was taken with depicting this spirit as the son of the ameonna and, as far as I can tell, the two spirits are not actually related through anything other than rain.

_Ameonna_ – literally, rain woman. A spirit associated with bringing rain – both to help villages and to steal children born in the same village the night they came. Nowadays, it and its male equivalent of ameotoko are used to refer to someone who has rain following them and gains a reputation for ruining events like sports or weddings. Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy (the book series, or so my dad said) had a character like this: the rain clouds loved him and so followed him everywhere. You’d think they’d pay him to go fix droughts, but instead they paid him to not come to events such as baseball games. This ameonna already has a child, and thus does not feel the need to steal one.

_Mu-onna_ – “nothing woman”, she is the spirit of a mother whose child was lost to famine or war. She protects children but might also try to absorb them, but she requires a spell to do the latter. Apparently this spirit appears in _Inuyasha_ , but I’ve never seen or read the anime/manga. This particular spirit was a student of Zenyatta. He helped her recover after she lost her child and became a mu-onna. Genji is wary of her because he knows the power of a desperate mother.

_Baku –_ beings that eat dreams and nightmares, and are compiled of what are essentially the scraps of other animals. It was common for children to ask a _baku_ to eat a nightmare. They are holy protectors of humanity and were actually carved above temple doors because of this. Evil spirits flee from them, hence the presence of them at the New Year’s village.

_Nurarihyon –_ an old man with a gourd-shaped head that sneaks into people’s houses and pretty much becomes the master of them, even if the tenants are present. Apparently he’s the Supreme Commander of all yokai (and, to some extent, mortals). In New Year’s village, the ones present are just taking advantage of empty houses.

Secondly, sources: [http://digitalcommons.usu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1071&context=usupress_pubs](http://digitalcommons.usu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1071&context=usupress_pubs)

(I don’t know if this will work but it’s the place where I got all my oni information. Anyway, it’s entitled “Japanese Demon Lore: Oni from Ancient Times to the Present” by Noriko T. Reider. It’s a good read if you’re into this kind of thing; just be aware that it is academic and therefore dense. Available as a free PDF.)

<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_legendary_creatures_from_Japan>

<http://yokai.com/>

(Some yokai were not able to be found on yokai.com, such as the mu-onna or arikura no baba. Seeing as in the mu-onna’s case, there’s another source for her, and that the arikura no baba is more based on a carline woman anyway, I decided to leave these spirits in, even if they are completely accurate to whatever lore may be out there.)

Genji and Zenyatta both look exactly like they do in their Oni and Sanzang skins (respectively). The only change is that Genji has a hammer-like charm attached to his belt, which is explained later. And the eyeball thing is real, if only by a marble trick in-game.

Speaking of, Oni Genji. He’s weird as all get out, I’m not going to lie. There’s a ton of bases to cover with him because he’s the one I did the most research on. So, let’s get started.

Firstly, cannibalism is a trait of oni in Japanese folklore. There are numerous legends about oni eating people, and more still with mere mentions of the motif. Considering Genji wasn’t exactly gung-ho about the whole yakuza thing, I decided to have some creative liberties and have it be the spirit in the sword that eats the flesh. Also kind of makes sense with Genji’s ultimate in game.

Secondly, crossroads aren’t really an oni thing. They’re actually a Russian/American thing, along with the summoning ritual (which, yes, I’m pretty sure is ripped off Supernatural but at least that season was _accurate_ in their lore, and also I’m not fond of trying to dig up summoning rituals. There’s _power_ in those words and I’m not willing to poke at it. Also, the ritual is purely American, as far as I was able to figure). Crossroads are points of indecision and confusion; hence why Genji camps out there before meeting Zenyatta. On that subject, when Genji describes himself as being “stuck”, that’s the unreliable narrator kicking in. He’s not bound by any sort of magic or rules; he just doesn’t want to admit he wants to hear what Zenyatta had to say. Furthermore, the “rightmost path” is also Russian trait; it was described to me as anything to the right is good and virtuous and everything to the left is evil and sinful. At least, when talking about traditional stories; I’m not sure about the modern application. So our robos going right is a sign of the good to come.

Thirdly, both humans and inanimate objects can become oni. There’s actually a specific legend in the “Swords Chapter” detailing how a human woman became a fierce oni. Household objects can become oni if they aren’t treated correctly. Both Genji and his sword are oni, so here’s the full explanation:

Genji’s sword is just that – his sword. Like, the one you see with the Young Genji/Sparrow skin. After his “death”, the clan hid them away. But because they didn’t treat them correctly (since, you know, Genji was at least a halfway decent human being who didn’t want to be part of the yakuza and was punished for lesser crimes than the ones committed upon him), the sword became oni via Genji’s dragon inhabiting the blades after Genji came back. Genji found the swords because he and the dragon were still bound, so he was able to sense where his dragon was and reclaim them, because part of the dragon lives in the swords. Thus the clan looking on in horror as they realized, essentially, “we screwed up”. So, cannibalistic sword possessed by the dragon of the person you tried to kill. Whoops. (Can it even be called cannibalism if it’s not a human?) This possession also changed the sword itself to look like Oni Genji’s sword instead of the Sparrow/Young Genji katana.

Lucky mallets are also an oni thing – hence the mention of the weird charm Genji constantly has on him. I took creative liberties again, since generally the mallet is… well, a crude wood mallet. If you’ve played Okami (or even Okamiden), you might recognize the name “Issun”. His story (Issun Boshi, or Little One-Inch) is the best example I know of a lucky mallet – he goes from being one inch to being a full-sized human with its usage, and also uses it for food and wealth for he and his bride. It’s also a mechanic in the game that allows you to access… well, spoilers. There’s more to it, but I’m not going to put it here. It’s summarized in the book I mentioned earlier, and also in Chuggaconroy’s Let’s Play of Okami if you’re really curious about the whole thing and don’t want to buy or play the game. (Fair warning, the Let’s Play is very long.) While the charm is only mentioned, Genji and Zenyatta do use it, but mostly for amenities. There’s a reason they’re able to buy things without really having steady jobs. (They also use it to give to those in need, but they try to use it sparingly. They don’t need more rumors and more people after their heads.)

The whole cold/warm thing is of my own invention and is completely headcanon. It comes from the idea that I read long ago that the Greek version of Hell is, in fact, cold, with the only heat coming from fire in the Fields of Punishment. I wish I could find the book I read it from; thing is, it was a book about Hecate from my middle school, literally only called “Hecate”. I can’t remember the author’s name, either, so I’m stuck with information with no source I can tell you, so whether or not it’s an actual thing is also a fair point. But this is fan work, so I took creative liberty.

Genji is a combination of oni traits and Western demon traits, as well as several other folklore tropes.

There are a couple of things not mentioned: first is that Angela still technically “rebuilt” Genji, as she was the spirit that answered his call. Think of her as the Witch, but a more arcane creature than just a human with magic. He doesn’t remember any of being rebuilt, and she was gone by the time he actually woke up because time is different to her, so “just a second” could be entire generations because of her arcane rather than mortal nature. Why did she make him oni? Time shenanigans. Because he was oni, Genji was in the right place at the right time so as to meet Zenyatta. And that was where he had to be, so oni he became. So where’s the rest of Overwatch? Places. This universe is a weird amalgamation of Junkenstein, the Lunar New Year tapestry, headcanon, canon, fanon, folklore, and half a dozen other things, so the members do exist! Just… differently. Also not mentioned: neither Genji nor Zenyatta require much rest, but because they have to take watch shifts (important lesson that doesn’t take long to learn in D&D _always_ have a watch rotation) they end up taking a bit longer to reach 100%. And Ramen (yes, the dragon is still named Ramen, here) can cover Genji’s after Genji starts healing.

A lot of the characterization for these characters leaks over from my other story _Building Bridges._ That one takes place in semi-canon and basically deals with Genji and Zenyatta running into various thoughts and events in the Overwatch universe and talking about it. I haven’t updated in a while, but I will! I have new interaction fodder now.

Okay, so, names. I’ve got no idea in which the idea of “true names” originated, but if you read a lot, you’ve probably heard this motif somewhere before. The Inheritance Cycle, for example, uses this idea, though some might be more familiar with Lord of the Rings using it. It’s present in the ancient Egyptian pantheon as well; Isis is the most powerful god out of all of them because she knows Ra’s true name, a deal she made in order to save him from poison. It’s a common motif that basically boils down to this: true names hold power, and if you know someone’s true name, you can hold power over them. That’s why the name thing is made to be such a big deal – Genji and Zenyatta now hold power over each other because of their knowledge, and it’s a sign of trust that they make it happen. Genji and Zenyatta, in this universe, are also unique in the fact that they had three names. Genji is Genji’s true name, as was just explained, but in life he was called Sparrow, and when he became oni, he took on Sparrow – Hawk so that way the clan would recognize him when they confronted. Zenyatta has two names, as far as he’s concerned – Sunya, the name he and Mondatta came up with to call him after his Awakening, and of course, Zenyatta. Mondatta’s names are explained, but the reason why Mondatta appears on the letter is because of magic. Because Zenyatta had read the letter first, the letter read Mondatta’s name. But because Zenyatta had never told of the other’s true name, Genji read it as “Muni” first, and then the ink shifted to read “Mondatta” so he would know what happened, and also because a true name will hold no power over the dead, only the undead because yes there’s a difference. I really like the name trope, okay? Zenyatta’s third name no longer exists, because it was the name he had before becoming Awakened. That being is no more, in his mind, so the name holds no power. Hanzo’s names are acutally from his skins Okami and Lone Wolf due to nuances I learned a couple of years ago, so bear with me. _Okami_ means “wolf”, and is very close to the word for ruler/god (kami). Wolves in Shinto folklore (which is a specific religion originating in Japan) used to be considered protectors. This fell by the way side when cattle farming became more popular (after gunboat diplomancy happened). Hanzo was _Okami,_ but after “killing” Genji he took on _Lone Wolf_. His true name also changed, since a lot of his values and beliefs did too. This logic follows that of the Inheritance Cycle, where your true name can change if you do. It’s probably more nuanced than that, but this is my rule of this universe.

Another story mechanic is the world itself. In the scene where the two learn about Mondatta’s death, it’s mentioned that Genji sees several spirits. The world works a lot like the Percy Jackson book series, where the Mist hides the “mythological” world from most mortals, with only a few exceptions. These things are not invisible, just changed in the eyes of mortals, enough of a trick for them to say “makes sense” or “that’s weird” and move on with their lives. This world functions very similarly; those of the supernatural world are able to sense others who are supernatural. Depending on their power, they can also detect what specifically another creature is and hide their own. Genji is rather high on the list since he’s able to sense what other creatures are without much effort, although hiding his own nature is something he has some issues with. Zenyatta, technically, could do the same, but it’s mentioned that “he lets himself be fooled” in the New Year’s village. This is the unreliable narrator again, since that’s a more Genji-centric view. Zenyatta chooses not to look past the disguises because he figures if they want him to know what they truly are, they will do it in their own time. Furthermore, everything operates under a set of rules. Whether or not the rules are universal, personal, species based, or what the rule set even is are not usually directly stated. Kind of like fae – they have a rule set, but whether or not you know it and/or understand it isn’t their concern.

Anyway, here’s how the story developed, if you’re curious.

The thing that started this story in the first place was the summary – I thought of it as I was waiting for my Intro to Folklore class to start. I just thought it was funny, so I wrote it down, and… well. That happened sometime in February 2017.

The last scene was written first, if you’d believe it. I thought of the name thing literally right after the summary and it’s what solidified this story’s existence here. I had actually written part of it on notebook paper before typing it up here, and it stayed like that for… a very long time, just a summary and a scene. I had little to no plan to continue, but here we are.

Then it was the first meeting – I struggle so much with this. So I went with the idea of Genji being just 100% done with the world (and being woken up from a nap lol) and thus, accidental crossroad summoning. It was originally going to be that Zenyatta had a child’s drawing and had recently said a few words at a funeral because the mourners saw and recognized him as a monk and asked him to. So he had graveyard dirt on his boots, a picture of himself in his pocket, and power in his frame, and oops, accidental magic because of a random happenstance of a black cat bone. But that seemed to be too focused on Zen, so we have random happenstances from plausible events. Also I just love the trope of “oh shit I did a thing and didn’t really realize it”. Oh, and about those vows? His vow was to “not take innocent life” and “not resort to violence unless necessary”. Different from the Shambali teachings, but very similar still.

You can probably tell I struggle a hell of a lot with action. And how Genji came to agree to be Zenyatta’s student. I just… struggle. So much. Blizzard just release something about it _please._ Comic, short, heck, a slightly more detailed statement in the summary of their life. PLEASE JUST HELP A POOR FANFIC AUTHOR. And release more lore about your supports! It’s been two years now!

The part with “I was Sparrow in life” was written after that in bits and pieces. The first paragraph was really the only thing that stayed, since bits and pieces were deleted. The middle was written first, then the end, then the beginning, because trying to write words for vague impressions, thoughts, and feelings is hard.

Pretty much all of this was built in bits and pieces – some scenes were developed later, some parts expanded sections, others connected the various scenes. I’ve been working on this on/off for about a year now…

A boatload of influence and inspiration from Grovey, chuchisushi, choriarty, and Lacertae and probably a lot of others. And NeonCandies, whose series “Betting Game” is actually explicitly referenced in the section where Zenyatta discusses the possible names Mondatta and he came up with. Thanks for writing, you all, hope this work pleases you as much as all your works please me.

This was originally going to be posted when done, then I debated on having it be a reward or trade piece or something, before I finally settled on having it be my contribution to anniversary. Mostly for the blog anniversary – June 1st, though Overwatch Anniversary (Event) overlaps it, so… here we are. Enjoy that art… so many details. Plus I’m still pretty new to the digital art (via Photoshop) scene, so here we are. Forgive the shading; I’m still learning what methods work/I like best!

Humongous thanks to my sister (storylover1) for being my “am I writing romance well?” person, despite having no knowledge of the characters or universe. Thanks for putting up with my weird shit and proofing this anyway; I owe you root beer and probably my soul. And also Mod Q (q-is-a-letter on tumblr) for feedback having known the characters. And listening to me going “oh shit, I forgot that’s why I don’t usually write X thing”. And basically going “yeah you need to add something here to get this whole thing to make sense”. And basically being the beta, but without the grammar fixes (because I know I have bad grammar in here, technically, but it’s stylistic!). Shout – out to both them because I am _not_ an easy person to follow the thoughts of, regardless of how well-put together this may seem. (Which is also thanks to Q.)

So a year and a half later, here we stand at the very end of this. It’s been a wild ride. So thanks again to my sister and Q for being my betas, essentially. Thank you to Blizzard for making these characters in the first place, and thus allowing this to exist at all. Thank you to Mod G for both making the Genyatta blog and honestly paving the way for me coming aboard this ship, and also for hiring me on the blog as the fanfic mod (still over the moon about it, tbh). And thank you to my fellow authors, artists, and other creators, without which the blog Genyatta wouldn’t exist as it does. Thanks to the followers of the blog for giving us the other part of our existence. See you around, you guys.

For those curious, this is 27 pages in 11 point Calibri (Body) font with the default spacing. Both chapters together are about 15k words, with 20 pages and 11k of those words being the actual story.

And if you want to yell at me about this, or shout about Genyatta… the blog Genyatta has a Discord server. Send in an ask on genyatta.tumblr.com, or just message me at blackmage2317.tumblr.com and I’ll get you an invite. We’re pretty active, so come shout about your favorite robos.


End file.
